Monthly Archives: January 2015

Mama Does Know Best

I’d like to start by asking you a couple of questions….

First, are you finding yourself repeating a familiar yet uncomfortable cycle in your relationships?
Secondly, when it’s just you and your heart is broken again, do you quietly say to yourself…”Mama Said”?

Come on be honest. I will if you will. Over the years as I’ve gone through relationships my Mama’s words have come back to haunt me. Had I taken her nuggets of wisdom to heart I know I could have avoided a lot of disappointment and would not have had to deal with:

Low Self-Worth, Low-Self-Esteem, Physical and Emotional Abuse, Embarrassment and Frustration.

I can readily admit that when I reached my teen years I suddenly woke up one morning and decided my Mama didn’t know what she was talking about. Besides it had been a long time since she was a teenager. The rules she lived by didn’t apply to me. How wrong was I!

Mama wanted me to not experience some of the things she had. She wanted me to learn from her… 

Now that I’m a mother and a grandmother, I find myself in her same position. I’m sure my children and grandchildren have those moments when they think to themselves, ‘Mama Said’ or ‘Grandma Said’.

Yes, it’s true that we all have to live our own lives, however, if we take the time to really listen to what our Mamas tried to teach us we could have avoided so much pain.

Sometimes it seems like we’ve learned from the “school of hard knocks”! The five nuggets of wisdom that my Mama tried to share and I was too stubborn to hear:

Nugget #1 – Know You Better than Others Do and Know Your Worth

Nugget #2 – Carry Yourself with Dignity & Respect

Nugget #3 – Education is Important for Success

Nugget #4 – You Can’t Change another Human Being

Nugget # 5 – “No” is Not a Bad Word

The interesting thing is that we don’t have to always learn things the hard way. I’m grateful that before my Mama passed she knew I’d learned the above lessons. I hope you’ll acknowledge the wisdom of the Mamas and Mothers in your life. It’s never too late to put it into practice. So go ahead give her a hug and kiss and say thank you Mama.

New Year’s Resolution or Commitment?

cup-of-love-full-of-hearts-wallpapers-1024x768[1]2015 has arrived with an opportunity to experience new things, refine others and live in the moment. It is also that time of the year when everyone decides to make a ‘new year’s resolution’. However each year, although they are made with good intentions accomplishing these resolutions usually fall by the wayside within 30 to 90 days.

So how can you increase your odds for success?  I’m so glad you asked! While loving myself with a hot cup of coffee I thought about my own resolutions. The first thing I decided was to steer clear of resolutions and instead concentrate on making a commitment.  Resolutions don’t seem to hold as much power as making a commitment. Think about this when you get married you’re making a commitment to another person as well as yourself. And although marriages fail ever day that commitment forces a degree of stamina and drive than making a resolution. After all you wouldn’t make a resolution on your wedding day…would you?

Something else about resolutions –  you usually make them to yourself, rarely will you let anyone else in on your secret. And it’s because if you fail no one else knows. But a commitment demands that it be shared and by sharing you gain supporters and a team of encouragers to see you through the difficult times when you’re ready to let go and try again ‘Next Year’.

For 2015 I’d like to offer these 10 Steps to making ‘Successful Commitments’

Write it Down – Goals are specific, measureable and time bounded. Write your goals so that they reflect all three components.

List Your Personal Benefits – Identify exactly “why” you want to this goal. List all the ways you will benefit personally.

Analyze Your Current Position – Success is information dependent, You need integrity in your information. Identify your specific strengths, weaknesses and opportunities as it relates to achieving this goal.

Identify Obstacles and Risks – List everything that could possibly prevent you from achieving this goal.

Identify Investments and Sacrifices – List everything, including time, money and any other sacrifices that you can anticipate.

Knowledge Requirements – Identify what additional knowledge you need to acquire or have access to.

Get a Support Team – List the people, groups and organizations you may need help from as well as the specific role each one plays.

Develop Your Plan – List in chronological order each activity and their corresponding target date for completion. Use all the information gathered in previous steps to develop your plan,

Set a Deadline – Determine on what date you will achieve this goal.

Reward and Celebrate – identify your reward for the achievement of this goal. You deserve it!

After determining my top three  I shared them with four people I trust to help hold me accountable. Now I’m making you my reader the fifth member of my team. Throughout 2015 I will keep you posted on my progress  in the three goals I’ve set for myself and what I do to get back on track should I stumble.  What are my three goals (commitments)?

1. I am committed to getting healthy physically – I have 125 pounds to lose. This means I must lose an average of 10.5 pounds per month.

2. Get healthy financially – by December 2015 I want an additional $3,500 in my savings.

3. Write book number three and have it published by September 2015.

These are my three main goals. I will repeat the ten steps listed for each goal I’ve set for myself. I am excited and look with great expectation to succeeding!

I wish you all the best in achieving your own goals and sticking to the new year commitments you make. I’d love to hear from you. Start today  and plan your steps to making 2015 your best year yet!