Monthly Archives: March 2015

Healthy Relationship Habits Can Transform Your Life

Everything in life boils down to our habits that we have.  Unfortunately, many of us have old worn out habits that don’t serve us any longer; especially if we had a lot of emotional trauma in our lives.  So we need to create new healthy relationship habits!

I want you to think about the stages of how a caterpillar transforms into a butterfly. The butterfly wasn’t always a butterfly as you know…it started as a very tiny egg.  Once that egg hatches, it becomes a caterpillar. It is during this stage that the caterpillar begins to prepare itself by first eating the leaf it was born on. Once it has reached its appropriate length and weight it begins to form itself into pupa, also known as chrysalis. Of course from the outside it looks as if the caterpillar is resting, but inside the caterpillar is actually changing. If you could peer inside the cocoon, you’d see the stubby looking caterpillar begin the metamorphosis of becoming a butterfly.  When it is ready to emerge from its chrysalis it will be a full grown butterfly.

So, let’s take the same process and apply it to you.  You’ve experienced some heart wrenching moments…physically, emotionally, spiritually, or a combination. In either case you’ve been blessed to survive it.

So now what?

Let’s examine your options:

  1. You could stay stuck in the past. Not a good option for it will cause you to miss out on some wonderful adventures. This could include meeting new friends and experiencing new things; including a new relationship rooted in respect and love.
  2. You could carry the hurt with you into the next relationship; again not a good option. Eventually you run the risk of not even enjoying your own company.
  3. Or, you could reap the lessons from the experience and move forward confident and ready to move to a happier and healthier existence in which you spread your beautiful wings and soar.
  4. Sure there will be setbacks along the way. The key is to persevere and stand rooted in the knowledge that you know how valuable you are. Like the butterfly you are able to bring joy to others as well as yourself. The events of the past don’t have to define who you are today.

It all boils down to changing your habits — how you respond to events that happen (in a healthy way, by staying present) and also by trying new things and new ways of being in the world!

Recovering From an Abusive Relationship

Yes, you are finally free! Now What? It took strength and determination to break free. It’s going to take strength, determination and patience to ensure you are recovered from the experiences of an abusive relationship.

Keep in mind that there is not a one size fits all prescription. There’s going to be trial and error as you navigate your way to a healthy relationship. But regardless of what works one thing is important for anyone. What is that you ask? Love Yourself! Let me repeat that…Love Yourself!

This is important in the healing process so that you can begin to listen to the warning signs you previously ignored. You know the ones some made you feel special when in reality it was all about control.

Love yourself enough to not allow yourself to be cut off from family and friends.

Love yourself enough to be happy with your own company.

Love yourself enough to not accept physical and emotional abuse as part of being a couple.

Love yourself enough to recognize and listen when your body tells you you’re unsafe.

Love yourself enough to speak words of encouragement and inspiration as you go through stages of grief.

Love yourself enough to want the best because you deserve the best and give it in return.

Love yourself enough to stand up and speak up when you’re in pain.

Love yourself enough to allow time to work its magic.

Love yourself enough to look in the mirror and see the beauty in the eyes looking back at you.

Love yourself enough to shake the shackles of the past and not hold it against another person.

And most important of all love yourself enough to FORGIVE and move forward with great expectation and joy.

Yes recovering from an abusive relationship is possible. You can and you will do it.