Category Archives: Motivation

Plotting Your Course for 2018


Well it’s another year with ample opportunities for you to improve, excel and renew. So how will you begin?

First, revisit 2017 and note your highs and lows, successes and challenges. This is important because you can use this to help plot your 2018 journey.

As with anything it calls for a plan and it calls for active participation in working that plan. What goals have you set for yourself.? Are you ready to step out on faith and remove yourself from an unhealthy relationship? Great! We applaud the effort. And whatever you do don’t say it’s hard just take it one simple step at a time. if you need a little guidance be sure to download the FREE eBook, “Exit Action Plan, 10 Steps for Leaving an Unhealthy Relationship. This tool will be invaluable for you or a loved one you know who’s going through.

Secondly, plot your strategy for success. Do it in 30 days, 90 days, 6-months and a year. Visit it often and make adjustments as needed. You’ll be rewarded with a happier, healthier and successful you.

Don’t forget about making a commitment to be financially stable and secure. Seek help if needed and for the budding small business owner or entrepeneur position yourself to be ready to access the capital you need to start and/or grow your business.

In 2018 Fresh Start for Women will offer self-defense classes to aid you in your quest to be safe. These classes will help you to learn to not be a victim but proactively protect yourself and loved ones by using techniques to allow you ample time to extricate yourself from a volatile situation. Please check our events calendar for dates and times in 2018.

In the end you’re the captain of your ship steer it in the right direction.

 

Respecting Your Mamas Wisdom About Relationships


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I know, it’s hard to believe that our mamas actually had a bit of wisdom to pass along to us. It seems that once we reached those teen years suddenly we knew more than she did. Or so we believed.

But if you take time to really examine that perception you know without a shadow of doubt that we were full of ourselves and discrediting the wisdom that resided in the woman who birthed us.

So lt me as a couple of questions and I hope you’ll take time to really think about your answer before you respond. After all the person it benefits the most is….YOU.

First, are you finding yourself repeating a familiar yet uncomfortable cycle in your relationships?
Secondly, when it’s just you and your heart is broken again, do you quietly say to yourself…”Mama Said”?

Remember you must be honest. Besides I will if you will. Over the years as I’ve gone through relationships my Mama’s words have come back to haunt me. Had I taken her nuggets of wisdom to heart I know I could have avoided a lot of disappointment and would not have had to deal with:

Low Self-Worth

  • Low-Self-Esteem
  • Physical and Emotional Abuse
  • Embarrassment
  • Frustration

I can readily admit that when I reached my teen years I suddenly woke up one morning and decided my Mama didn’t know what she was talking about. Besides it had been a long time since she was a teenager. Mama’s advice for avoiding unhealthy relationships was old-fashioned I thought. The rules she lived by didn’t apply to me. How wrong was I!

Mama’s advice for avoiding unhealthy relationships was given because she wanted me to not experience some of the things she had. She wanted me to learn from her…

 Now that I’m a mother and a grandmother, I find myself in her same position. I’m sure my children and grandchildren have those moments when they think to themselves, ‘Mama Said’ or ‘Grandma Said’.

Yes, it’s true that we all have to live our own lives, however, if we take the time to really listen to what our Mamas tried to teach us about avoiding unhealthy relationships we could have avoided so much pain.

Sometimes it seems like we’ve learned from the “school of hard knocks”!

The five nuggets of wisdom that my Mama tried to share and I was too stubborn to hear:

Nugget #1 – Know You Better than Others Do and Know Your Worth

Nugget #2 – Carry Yourself with Dignity & Respect

Nugget #3 – Education is Important for Success

Nugget #4 – You Can’t Change another Human Being

Nugget # 5 – “No” is Not a Bad Word

The interesting thing is that we don’t have to always learn things the hard way. I’m grateful that before my Mama passed she knew I’d learned the above lessons. I hope you’ll acknowledge the wisdom of the Mamas and Mothers in your life. It’s never too late to put it into practice. So go ahead give her a hug and a kiss and say thank you Mama. Hopefully, one day if you’re blessed to have a daughter of your own you too can pass on your nuggets of wisdom.

The Burning Question… Who Are You?


On this Fresh Start Monday, I have just this one question…Who Are You? Now before you begin to answer this question let me set the scene for you: You’ve just entered a room full of very interesting people. Everyone is smiling, laughing and talking animatedly about a variety of subjects. You stand there observing as you’re trying to decide which group you’d like to join. Of course there are butterflies in your stomach and you’re fighting the urge to run and take flight in the opposite direction. But you hold your ground.

You tell yourself, “I can do this. I can make conversation with anyone.” Right before you take that next step you spot the way to the ladies’ room and quickly make your way in that direction. Once inside you stare at the person looking back at you. You think back over the last 20 – 30 years of your life and wonder where did all the time go? In your mind’s eye you see your children from the moment they were placed in your arms until the day you saw them off to college, the military or just across town to their own place. Fleetingly you think about the son or daughter you witness get married and begin a whole new life with another person. On that day you were filled with joy and dread.

Joy, because you’re so happy to see your child all grown up and beginning his/her own family. Dread because now you wonder, “What shall I do with all this time I now have on my hands”? If you’re blessed to still have someone to share your life with you still have that same question, “What are we going to do, now that the house is empty except for the two of us”?

Does this scene sound familiar to anyone? I’m sure it does, I know long before that time arrived I made a decision that has served me well. I decided that though I had a responsibility to my children and of course to my husband. I also knew I had a responsibility to myself as well. This meant I couldn’t totally wrap myself in the lives of my children or spouse for when the day came and they weren’t around what oh what would I do with myself.

Finding interests or hobbies outside of your immediate family takes work and it’s a process of trial and error. You don’t know what truly fuels your imagination or fill you with wonder and amazement until you try it. So you have to have an adventurous spirit. For me I discovered that I love to read, I like running, I love puzzles and I like acting. Not a whole lot but enough that I tried out and participated in a few plays in the drama ministry at my church.

In the back of my mind I also knew that still wasn’t enough. I needed just a bit more. It was then that I looked outside of myself and found my greatest fulfillment! Helping others gives me the greatest joy and when people ask who am I I can readily answer in any number of ways depending on the circumstances.

The point I’m making on this Fresh Start Monday is that each of us should know who we are. Not who others think we are, or base our answer on what we think we should be but exactly who we are. The best way to answer that is to ensure you don’t become stale and bored with yourself. If you’re bored with yourself, I promise others will be as well.

 

For me being a wife, mother, grandmother, sister, sister-n-law, aunt and friend are just a small part of what makes me who I am. I’m a complex individual with likes and dislikes as anyone else may have. But I’m unique to me. I can be happy with just my own company or I can be relaxed and comfortable in a room full of diverse people. I have opinions about the world around me and I have causes that are dear to me. I’m a writer, published author, speaker, workshop/seminar facilitator, evangelist and life coach. Together it all makes a whole me.

So what about you? What makes you tick, what fuels your passion? Do you have a cause that’s dear to you? Have you taken your life lessons and developed them into a new chapter filled with opportunity and promise? Have you ventured outside of your comfort zone and made new friends and developed new relationships based on mutual respect, trust and understanding? If not are you ready to? Do you need a little coaching and encouragement to make that transition? If so you just may be the perfect candidate to join a group of like-minded individuals participating in ‘From Adversity to Passion, A Guide to Your Divine Destiny and Joy’. If that’s the case visit the Fresh Start for Women event page and sign up. You won’t be disappointed.

Come on join the movement so that the next time the question is posed you can answer without hesitation. ‘I am ….’

Happy Fresh Start Monday everyone!

 

9 Steps to a Better You in 2016


The start of a new year is a great opportunity to reassess where you are in life both personally and professionally. I’m sure this sounds like your typical new year’s resolution activity but it’s not. Making a resolution that is normally broken within the first 90 days is much different that actually taking a look at your current situation and taking steps to improve it. What exactly is required you may wonder? First you’ll need to revisit the goals you set for yourself at the beginning of the previous year. You’ll need to assess whether you made great strides, did you get side-tracked or had to make adjustments. Once you determine that then you can answer the question, “Where are you and where do you want to be?”

Like many others I would take time at the beginning of the year to set goals for myself. The purpose of these goals is to give myself a road map leading to success. They were called as mentioned above, “new year resolutions”. In order to give myself a greater shot at success required me to make a change in my thinking. That change started with me changing “new year resolutions” to, “commitment” instead. Commitment to me meant I was taking responsibility and ownership for the plans I made for myself. This commitment didn’t allow me to easily give up should I fall short instead I was encouraged to make adjustments in order to be successful if my initial plans did not produce the results I hoped for.

Have you ever made a commitment to yourself? How did you go about setting that commitment? Do you take time throughout the year to assess where you are? Well here’s a perfect time to jumpstart 2016 in a different mindset. Below are my tips that I hope will give you reason to make a commitment to yourself:

Write it Down – Commitments or Goals are specific, measurable and time bounded. Write your commitments or goals so that they reflect all three components.

List Your Personal Benefits – Identify exactly “why” you want to achieve this goal.  List all the ways you will benefit personally.

 Analyze Your Current Position – Success is information dependent. You need integrity in your information. Identify your specific strengths, weaknesses and opportunities as it relates to achieving this goal.

 Identify Obstacles and Risks – List everything that could possibly prevent you from achieving the commitment or goal you’ve set for yourself. Identify Investments and Sacrifices.  List everything, including time, money and sacrifices that you can anticipate.

Identify Knowledge Requirements – List what additional knowledge you need to acquire or have access to.

Have Support Team –  List the people, groups, and organizations you may need help from as well as the specific role each one plays.

Develop Your Plan – List in chronological order each activity and their corresponding target date for completion. Use all the information gathered in previous steps to develop your plan.

 Set a Deadline – Determine on what date you will achieve this goal.

Reward and Celebrate – Identify your reward for the achievement of your commitment or goal. You deserve it! But don’t just rest on the successful completion, start again and make it even better. I can guarantee you won’t give up at the three-month mark.

Here’s hoping 2016 will usher in a new, positive, focused and determined you.

Renewing All of You after an Unhealthy Relationship


Reviving your spirit, letting go of things you’ve held on to that have caused you pain and harm has been an ongoing task after escaping an unhealthy relationship. Emptying the negativity of the past is not an easypure_joy[1] activity.I want to encourage you to continue with all the good you’re doing for in the end the new you that emerges will be strong, powerful, positive, and determined. But in all this transformation don’t forget about the outside.

It’s easy to overlook because you may think “well there’s nothing wrong with the way I look”. Are you sure? Let me ask a few questions and then you decide.

  1. When you give yourself that one last look in the mirror before you walk out the door are you smiling?
  2. Do you look with excitement and anticipation to the day ahead?
  3. Do the clothes you wear reflect the new you you’ve been working on?
  4. Do you look up and not down when you’re going about your business?
  5. Do you greet people with a smile and/or a nod of hello?
  6. Does the physical you reflect a person focused on being healthy as well?

I ask these questions because if there’s been a transformation on the inside it should reach the outside as well. The new you should exhibit an air of confidence and assurance that you know exactly who you are. At first it may seem strange and out of character but why should it? Haven’t you worked hard to let go of things that have weighed you down?  Haven’t you quieted that voice that told you deserved to be treated as a non-person? Didn’t you say good-bye to the butterflies that used to rule you when you heard a raised voice or coward in fear from physical harm? Yes. These are all great accomplishments and should be celebrated. Let’s take it a step further and make the outside you reflect the positive changes happening on the inside. Let your new walk reflect your new air of lightness. There should be a sense of purpose in every step and a determination that lights up your face.

That unhealthy relationship stole your joy and you’ve worked hard to it back. You’ve surrounded yourself with new friends and let go of some you discovered really weren’t your friends. You speak affirming messages of strength, love and forgiveness every day.  You write them on your heart so that they have become a second skin. Wear it proudly. Your glow is coming forth so give that glow a new home. Improve your outer appearance as well. Make these five tips a part of your new routine.

  1. Get some exercise – walk, bike or join a gym if you can afford it, either way don’t let money or the lack of money keep you from improving your physical health.
  2. Eat more fruits and vegetables and drink lots of water while cutting down on sugar and empty calories.
  3. Get a new wardrobe one that reflects the new you and again don’t let money or lack thereof prevent you from making a change. Use your creativity. You’ll be surprised what you can do.
  4. Let the joy on the inside be reflected in the face you present to the world. Smile more and often, and greet people with a genuine look. Don’t be surprised if you get them back in return.
  5. Make a promise to yourself to always love you.

Let today be the starting point for ‘Renewing All of You after an Unhealthy Relationship’. Most of all I encourage you to enjoy it with the new you you’re creating from the inside out.

Who Are You Listening To?


There are two types of people who will tell you that you cannot make a difference in this world: those who are afraid to try and those who are afraid you will succeed. ~Ray Goforth

This saying I believe is so true thus the question becomes, “Why, are you listening to them?” The first one can’t give you positive encouragement. It could be that it’s the same speech someone else gave them and now they’re passing it on to you. Fear has taken hold of them so tightly that they are unable to see past just existing. The second won’t give you positive encouragement no matter how much you ask for it. Instead of being happy for you jealousy, resentment and fear of being left behind becomes a part of their makeup.  There will always be people not wanting you to succeed. Obviously neither of these two a are good for you.

So where do you find your encouragement and inspiration? Start with YOU. You are the main nurturer of your hopes and dreams. Then surround yourself with others who will feed and fuel those hopes and dreams? You may ask where do you find them. Look around you many are already there, parents, teachers, true friends, colleagues, mentors and a host of people you have yet to encounter.

So starting today walk away from the negative people and draw closer to those who will root for you and provide useful advice and encouragement. Keep in mind that really successful people love to share their knowledge so avail yourself of it. The limits to what you can achieve is all up to you. You’re in the driver’s seat. Even if you have a misstep don’t stop. It’s not a failure it’s just something that didn’t work. Keep trying until you reach your goal. And always be willing to make adjustment when needed.

The positive people in your life will be there to help you as long as you are helping yourself. So decide today who are you listening to?

 

 

Motivational Monday – Life


Motivational Monday says:  “The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away”.

The above quote has been attributed to anonymous, so why not let it be a part of you! Find your gift, we all have a gift some have more. But find that one gift that when given away enriches the lives of the people you meet. It could be the gift of compassion so that when you see someone suffering you are compelled to not only have compassion but offer of yourself in order to help.

Your gift could be that of teacher, inspiration, encouragement, administration, etc. The list goes on and on. The main point is to not hold tight to the gift but to spread it around. You’ll be amazed at what you receive in return.

So this day take stock of who you are. What gift(s) do you have that can benefit others?

 

 

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