Tag Archives: love

Silence Broken through Artistic Expression


Fresh Start for Women LogoOftentimes people hear about or see the evidence and may even be sympathetic to the woman with visible scars from the abuse she has endured. There will be those willing to help if she has become disfigured because of the trauma. A broken arm can mend. A scar from scalding water will eventually heal. A bloody nose can also heal. But what about the scars you don’t see? Don’t they require attention as well? Shouldn’t effort be made to help one overcome those scars?

There are many who believe wrongly that it’s just something you have to get over and move on. This is not an easy task and Fresh Start for Women’s 12 years in the trenches can attest to this statement. Even more damaging is the toll it takes on our young girls before they’ve even fully developed into young women and future leaders.If you have a daughter, niece, granddaughter or even a great-granddaughter make plans to attend Silence Broken through Artistic Expression on October 16th at the 444 Theatre.

Think about it. A woman or girl whose self-esteem has been reduced to lower than dirt needs healing. The woman or child who flinches when a raised voice is heard needs healing. The eyes that look out upon the world without light in them need healing.

The person you observe who never looks you in the eye, speaks softly and shrink within themselves needs healing. The soul, mind and spirit need attention just as much and sometimes even more so. A kind word, a smile, a soft touch all can serve as healing balm. A listening ear without judgment carries a lot of power. Use it wisely.

This year Fresh Start for Women is endeavoring to shed light on the various forms of domestic violence and the impact it has on a woman’s or girl’s life.  Silence Broken through Artistic Expression: The Real Effects of Domestic Violence is a talent showcase that will not only entertain but educate and hopefully inspire you to make a difference.

The arts are a great way to learn in a non-threatening yet caring environment. You’ll be regaled with spoken word artists, singers, dancers and actors. So mark your calendar, get your tickets and come walk the purple carpet, network and make a powerful difference.

Fresh Start for Women believes you will come away from this event with the power to help one who has been made to feel powerless to begin to heal and overcome. Learn more at www.freshstartforwomen.org. Someone needs you now.

Be Like the Butterfly


 

Those four words make you wonder doesn’t it? After all what’s so special about being a caterpillar? Think about. From the caterpillar began its life as a very tiny egg. yet thanks to God and nature it will transform into something beautiful. You too are a special work and transform as well. Let’s take a closer look. Once the egg hatches it becomes a caterpillar. It is during this stage that the caterpillar begins to prepare itself by first eating the leaf it was born on. Once it has reached its appropriate length and weight it begins to form themselves into pupa, also known as chrysalis. of course from the outside it looks as if the caterpillar is resting, but inside the caterpillar is actually changing. if you could peer inside you’d see the stubby looking caterpillar begin the metamorphosis of becoming a butterfly.  When it is ready to emerge from its chrysalis it will be a full grown butterfly.

Now take the same stages and apply it to you. You’ve experienced some heart wrenching moments. They be physically, emotionally, spiritually or a combination. In either case you’ve been blessed to survive it. So now what? Good question. Let’s examine your options:

  1. You could stay stuck in the past. Not a good option for it will cause you to miss out on some wonderful adventures. This could include meeting new friends and experiencing new things including a new relationship rooted in respect and love.
  2. You could carry the hurt with you into the next relationship. Again not a good option. Eventually you run the risk of not even enjoying your own company.
  3. Or, you could reap the lessons from the experience and move forward confident and ready to move to a happier and healthier existence in which you spread your beautiful wings and soar.

Sure there will be setbacks along the way. The key is to persevere and stand rooted in the knowledge that you know how valuable you are. Like the butterfly you are able to bring joy to others as well as yourself. The events of the past don’t have to define who you are today.

So spend time with you and allow your experiences to mold you into something just as beautiful as the butterfly. Now soar!!

 

FREE to LOVE After an Unhealthy Relationship


Yes, you are finally free! Now What? It took strength and determination to break free. It’s going to take strength, determination and patience to ensure you are recovered from the experiences of an abusive relationship.

Keep in mind that there is not a one size fits all prescription. There’s going to be trial and error as you navigate your way to a healthy relationship. But regardless of what works one thing is important for anyone. What is that you ask? Love Yourself! Let me repeat that…Love Yourself!

This is important in the healing process so that you can begin to listen to the warning signs you previously ignored. You know the ones I’m referring to. Some made you feel special when in reality it was all about control.

Love yourself enough to not allow yourself to be cut off from family and friends.

Love yourself enough to listen to that inner voice when it whispers to you that something is not right.

Love yourself enough to treasure all you have to offer to the right person.

Love yourself enough to take it slow when entering into a new relationship. As a matter of fact give yourself time to truly heal and come to grips with the circumstances you were once in.

Love yourself enough to FORGIVE yourself for past choices and decisions.

Love yourself enough to discover the gifts and talents you have that make you special.

Love yourself enough to give love a second chance once the baggage from the past has been discarded.

Most importantly love yourself enough to be happy with your own company.

Yes, you are finally FREE!

Recovering From an Abusive Relationship


Yes, you are finally free! Now What? It took strength and determination to break free. It’s going to take strength, determination and patience to ensure you are recovered from the experiences of an abusive relationship.

Keep in mind that there is not a one size fits all prescription. There’s going to be trial and error as you navigate your way to a healthy relationship. But regardless of what works one thing is important for anyone. What is that you ask? Love Yourself! Let me repeat that…Love Yourself!

This is important in the healing process so that you can begin to listen to the warning signs you previously ignored. You know the ones some made you feel special when in reality it was all about control.

Love yourself enough to not allow yourself to be cut off from family and friends.

Love yourself enough to be happy with your own company.

Love yourself enough to not accept physical and emotional abuse as part of being a couple.

Love yourself enough to recognize and listen when your body tells you you’re unsafe.

Love yourself enough to speak words of encouragement and inspiration as you go through stages of grief.

Love yourself enough to want the best because you deserve the best and give it in return.

Love yourself enough to stand up and speak up when you’re in pain.

Love yourself enough to allow time to work its magic.

Love yourself enough to look in the mirror and see the beauty in the eyes looking back at you.

Love yourself enough to shake the shackles of the past and not hold it against another person.

And most important of all love yourself enough to FORGIVE and move forward with great expectation and joy.

Yes recovering from an abusive relationship is possible. You can and you will do it.

Celebrate Your Milestones


Oscar Hugging Janice-HIt has taken me years to realize the importance of celebrating milestones, Too often we tend to stay buried in the failures or trials we go through. I believe we need to do a reversal. Instead of spending so much time on the failures take the lessons from them and begin to plot your strategy to reach a successful result.

This week that is exactly what I’m doing! I’m celebrating being healed from past unhealthy relationships and now thriving in one that is full of love, wonder, hope, togetherness, encouragement, faith, support, laughter, joy, fun, quiet, peace and did I mention love?

Of course I did. I can’t imagine not having this peace and joy in my life for it is full of love, mutual respect and caring. If I’d remained in the past I shudder to think how empty life would be now. I may not be as young as I used to be but my heart is always young and so is the love that flows from me even when we are faced with adversity. Together we are unbeatable.

Each minute, hour, day that I’m granted in this world I vow to celebrate the milestones. How about you!

 

Say Yes to Yourself


Yes, sOscar Hugging Janice-Huch a simple little word. Yet it holds tremendous power. During this month of Domestic Violence Awareness, stop for a moment and say YES to yourself.

Say Yes, I’m worthy to be loved unconditionally.

 

Say Yes, to being touched by loving protective hands.

Say Yes to having eyes filled with love, respect and honor being cast upon you.

Say Yes to joy in your heart when your name is spoken from the lips of one who regards you as a precious and cherished part of themselves.

Say Yes to walks in the rain and picnics in the park.

Say Yes to growing closer until you can’t tell where one ends and the other begins because you’re so in tuned to each other and only want the best for each other.

Say Yes to a husband, wife or child who when you’re not at your best will come and give you a hug just because.

Say Yes to sunny days and peaceful nights.

Say Yes to a faith beyond your understanding.

Say Yes to cold lemonade, sweet iced tea, homemade ice cream and milk chocolate candy with a surprise inside.

Say Yes to flowers sent to adorn your desk.

Say Yes to a gentle kiss upon your forehead that makes your stomach quiver from excitement.

Say Yes to a smile that warms you to your toes.

Say Yes to God’s Love but most of all Say Yes  to loving yourself beyond measure.

Now walk in that Love and watch the positive energy gravitate to you. Say Yes I deserve this and so much more. I won’t settle for less because today I say Yes to Me!

 

 

Does Love Supposed to Hurt?


With this being Domestic Violence Awareness Month I’ve had this question asked by young and old, men and women. My response to that is, ‘if you love yourself would you harm yourself?”. That’s your answer. 100% of the time your response should be no. Then if you wouldn’t harm yourself and you love you why would you entertain the thought that love is supposed to hurt?

I realize that many of us grew up in dysfunctional homes in which verbal and physical abuse was the norm. Just because it’s what you saw doesn’t mean it’s right. Of course rewiring your thinking will take work but it is worth it. Settling for less than what you deserve is not an option therefore put in the work to uplift your self-esteem. Redefine your boundaries so that you do not allow negativity to dictate your thoughts and actions.

How? Start by letting go of the past and redesigning your future. Easy? Of course not! Doable? Absolutely! You have to take the first step and that step is acknowledging that you are worthy of true unconditional healthy love.  Find a quiet room and sit down with pen and paper and describe your ideal relationship. Be specific leave nothing to chance. Now ask yourself, “Am I in this type of relationship now?” If the answer is no then you have two choices. 1. Have a conversation with the other party or 2. if you already know that it’s a lost cause then it’s time to put an exit strategy into place.

In the first choice there’s the opportunity to make changes that are beneficial for both parties. Lack of communication leaves the door open for misunderstanding, mistrust and unhappiness. Set aside time to really talk. Turn off the radio, video games, sports, news, television and cell phones. Pour a glass of wine or a fresh cup of coffee and talk. I mean really talk. Be sure it’s a 2 way street, this means one listens while the other speaks. Listen intently, give eye contact and have an open demeanor. Crossed arms signals your defenses are up and you’re only half listening. Then acknowledge any areas you may need to improve upon. It could be as simple as having a date night. But it could also mean you may need a third party to help you. In either case the goal is to renew, reignite and rekindle a relationship that’s been limping along. That is if you’ve both decided it’s worth saving!

On the other hand if you know it’s time to leave then be wise and plan your exit. You can find an excellent e-book Exit Action Plan: 10 Steps to Leaving an Abusive Relationship to help you with that at www.transformingjunkintojewels.com. Even if your relationship is not an abusive one the tips inside are still useful. Having a plan is essential for success. Once you’ve extricated yourself don’t jump right into another relationship. Love yourself enough to give yourself time to heal and rediscover the unique individual you lost.

We all heal at different levels so don’t compare your situation to anyone else. You’ll know without any doubt when you’re ready to try again. Next time don’t repeat the same mistakes listen to that quiet inner voice when it signals something is not right. Guard your heart and only give it when you know it will be love, appreciated and cherished. Above all remember to ask yourself, “Does Love Supposed to Hurt?”